YR

WTF i done sia?

2008-08-27T22:08:00.002+08:00

i dont even know wat i have done. okay heart broken. Everything is in pieces just trying to get it fixed back. Well i am garbage. FUCK IT!

I just want to hold you tight but that would never happen.

Hello! I'm garbage

2008-07-30T21:39:00.001+08:00

To you I'm garbage.

One Word: Happy

2008-07-30T07:55:00.002+08:00

Nth much recently. No hard feelings so never post haha. And She is a sweet gal =D

Today.

2008-07-26T18:02:00.004+08:00

I needed time to straighten things out, so i went out without knowing where to go. Followed the Mrt track and walked all the way to Marsling. I started to think of what to do in life, where would i be in the future. Train-ed from marsling to yewtee, then i alighted again. Looking at people around me, everyone seemed so happy. Yet i can't find reasons to make myself happy.

Walked all the way to CCK, followed the Lrt track and in my mind i was thinking of her. In her mind, friends and family are more important to her. To her maybe i never existed or maybe we are just friends, things that i couldn't get off my chest surfaced again. Shouted out all my sorrows at the field beside the highway. Daydream-ed beside the highway as cars zoom past. I guess i was feeling better already.

Everything was gone.
Took the train from CCK, my legs were too tired to walk anymore. And back home.

I just want to say to her " Peixin, i like you" but i would never have enough courage to do so.

2008-07-25T21:51:00.006+08:00

No one understands me, no one knows that i cry in my sleep. The world is so big yet i am sitting here alone. Friends and families are the only thing that i hold on to in life now. I don't want to lose everything. Not yet, not now. In the future, i think i will.

i put up a strong front. In front of family and friends, i smile to let them know that everything is alright. Non of it is true. Nothing was ever right, its just me lying to myself. lock deep inside me are memories that i yearned to forget , and inside everything is pilling up like a collection center for all the bad memories and emotions. I guess my heart could no longer keep anymore garbage, everything is just collapsing down. One by one throwing it back at me in the face. I'm breaking down, afraid to never be able to stand again.

I never knew myself. Am i the one who smiles and crack jokes to make people happy? Or am i the one who is just a quiet person facing the world alone? If anyone is reading this can you tell me what i am? i really want to know. I guess i am the quiet person who face the world alone. Smiles and jokes are just lies that you see from me. The cheerful Yu rong is gone, it will never be back. I have changed. Not as positive as before, being alone doesn't mean anything now. Its just like what we saw that day. One day, we may just lose our friends sitting alone at the foodcourt alone eating lunch. I no longer have the energy to look forward to the future. Yes i'm fragile. I can't face setbacks, do i have a choice? It was how i was made, i blame it on no one. I want to cherish every moment of my life too but its just too tiring smile and laugh everyday as if nothing has happened.

Love just hurts me more and more until i become what i am now.

2008-07-24T20:38:00.002+08:00

Hello Mr blog, i'm back haha =D.
Haha decided alrdy, just tell her ba.

2008-07-23T18:12:00.001+08:00

Yes, i like her.

Why is everyone becoming emo? EMOs are just failures in life who cant find their goals to live on. I really regretted being a emo =(. Wasted part of my life and time when being emo cant solve anything. Be confident face the facts of life, it can be fun when u look at it differently. So cheer up =D things are never as bad as you think it may be.

Haha i think no one realise my blog is back. Its good, no one knows what i write here haha.

Cause I was born to tell you I love you,
and I am torn to do what I have to. =D

2008-07-21T22:01:00.000+08:00

Maybe still got chance, maybe

2008-07-20T22:18:00.001+08:00

How to win her heart?

2008-07-18T18:18:00.002+08:00

Maybe i'm really just a emo. My heart is breaking down, a empty shell without a heart.

Nv been so troubled

2008-07-16T23:22:00.001+08:00

Alive and Kicking

2008-07-09T20:22:00.001+08:00